Edited post from an online forum I’m a member of:  “I’m seriously losing all faith. I am more confused than I ever been about this “process” so someone please clear this up for me! I was just told I’m getting “bigger”. This is coming from another gym rat who is on Keto and super fit. I confided in another friend who does CrossFit. He said I shouldn’t be lifting if I want to be thin.  I’ve been to a fitness trainer who categorized me as a Mesomorph… I had to Google that because I had no clue as to what the F that was…… he said I shouldn’t be doing anything less than 15 reps and I shouldn’t be adding weight… High rep, low weight. I’m so tired of my brain flipping around and so many directions. I keep switching up my Ashley programs because I’m either getting discouraged or intimidated. On a good note, I’ve been consistent for the first time in my life by getting up at 4am to hit the gym since this challenge started. Please tell me all the secrets to push forward.” 

Girl. I HEAR YOU. 

You gotta stick with something all the way through for YOU and follow it for a while before you know that it’s working or it’s not working.

The whole “trust the process” thing involves a LOT of patience and persistence. And … sometimes you do get bulky before you lean. It’s physiology.

I’m a previous Ashley Horner Transform You winner but not a coach or professional … and still “in the process” … so secrets from me may not be perfect, however, they are tried and true:

The more you ask people for advice, the more you will become confused.

The more you listen to these people … especially the “instacoaches” and the people from cross platforms who just wanna give you a tid-bit of advice, the more information overload you will experience (bodybuilders eat and train differently than strongman competitors who eat and train differently than triathletes who eat and train differently than CrossFitters).

The more information overload you experience, the more apt you are to jump from program to program without ever giving yourself an opportunity to “OWN” something so that you have a chance to see a true transformation.

The more you compare yourself to others, one of two things will happen –

• the more you will (hopefully not) either set yourself up for failure because you will either become one of those people who can’ understand the struggles of others or you will not be able to keep up with others and feel in-superior …
• or (hopefully) the more you will figure out how different we all are.

This is because of factors like blood-type. Metabolic resistance. Genetic predispositions. Body type. Previous injuries and weaknesses. You JUST CANNOT COMPARE one person’s results to another person’s results because it’s NEVER going to be the same, even when they are doing the same program.

I’m not being negative or critical of you. This is from my personal experience.

When you choose a program, choose one you can picture yourself doing from cover to cover. Then just go. You may not LOVE it. But. You can FINISH it. And then figure out if it helped you or set you back and then you can plot the next course to goals.

Throughout the program, keep data.  Take measurements as well as logging your weight. Also keep track of your lifts (reps/weights) and time/effort/calorie expenditure so that you can also track progress in the gym.

And … you have to teach yourself to respond to the people who are “trying to help you” by telling them “Thank you so much for your help.  But, I’ve got this.“