How sweet do you REALLY need it?

Over the weekend, I decided to FOCUS on my goal of not eating like an asshole.

I realize that when I discuss a goal that I should be more positive in my framework of that goal .. but in all seriousness, I have been stressed and eating my emotions (not normal since I have been healthy) = eating things like pumpkin scones or cinnamon rolls or chocolate chip cookies and mochas as a daily (sometimes twice daily) “treat” (not once a week as agreed upon with my nutritionist … more like five times a week).

I have been eating like an asshole!!!

Also, over the past 3 weeks, while I have logged into myfitnesspal on the daily, I have not logged all of my foods so my poor nutritionist is probably at a loss of how to guide me towards positive change based on the past few weeks … other than what I imagine him saying along the lines of  “hey, I kinda need your data if I’m going to be able to do my job.”

I know that a majority of success in finding my focus on my nutritional goals lies in planning. On Saturday, Mike and I sat down and looked at our family calendar, work schedules and kids / sports calendars .. and then started menu planning.  At this point, I went to town, trying to figure out when we would need to make which meals (no beef or pork on nights Lizzy is eating with us … no cooking on riding lesson night if we want to eat before 10 PM … lunches come from dinner the night before so if we will be eating out, need to make enough meat 2 nights before that, etc.)…. and then on calculating macros – seeing how meals could be manipulated in order to fit both Mike’s macro plan and mine (he gets about double the carbs I do and I think about 50% more protein than I do).

Honestly, that is the easy part. For me. the harder part is figuring out “why” and “how”.  Why do I emotionally eat? And why have I lacked willpower to walk away from the candy and snacks in the break room at work recently? How do I create a situation in which I can control this a little more?  Can I make something that I can substitute as a “treat” without it wrecking my macros for the day? 

Part of the answers to the why:

  • One thing I do know is that my stress due to our fiscal year close at work and my friend’s cancer treatment and my crazy mom’s taxi schedule will not be going away this week.
  • I am aware that EVEN IF I have ALL of our meals planned … it does not mean that I will be able to walk away from donuts in the break room or keep away from the Starbucks drive through. That part comes from willpower.  Lately, I’ve given in to the donuts. The yogurt covered raisins. The trail mix (those m&ms are yummy). Or to waffles. Or the home baked “healthy” muffins. It’s all sweet shit that destroys my willpower….
  • I know that when I have my period, I am SUPER HUNGRY and want to eat all of the sweets around … so that’s a truth right now.

So after reflection, I decided to work on controlling what I could and googled banana and pumpkin bread and muffin recipes.

Know this one thing about me.  I am NOT a very good cook. I am NOT confident in the kitchen nor do I have patience to weigh/measure/bake on a typical day.

HOWEVER … I AM determined to get lighter and stronger … and I’m trying to work with my cravings, health and goals and decided this could be good for all of the above.

I scratched a recipe on the backside of a WZA scorecard and then set to work modifying it.  I read a few googled articles on how to sub out certain ingredients for others.

I subbed out 1 cup of vanilla whey isolate low carb protein powder for flour and honey (the protein powder is sweet … do we really need it any sweeter?).  I then used 2 cups of fine almond flour, 3 ripe bananas, 1/4 cup melted coconut oil, 1 tsp vanilla, 1 tbsp apple cider vinegar, 3 eggs, 2 tsps cinnamon, 1 each of baking soda, nutmeg and salt (plus a half tsp of ginger (Mike suggested this addition after he taste tested the batter) and baked in the oven 1 hour at 300 degrees.





And 220 cals / 14C, 13F, 10P for 1/8 of the loaf.

I cannot get over how moist this turned out and without any added sugar it’s sweet enough, too (but you can add 1/4 cup honey as recommended).

Because the dog is an asshole and ate 3/4 of the loaf off of the counter (okay – my fault for leaving it in reach), I also did bake a second loaf and this time included 1/4 cup of honey that I had actually forgotten to include when I made it the first time).  The honey gives it a slight difference in taste and the crust is darker/sweeter … however, really, it’s not necessary (this is coming from a sweet tooth cravings person).

Onwards to the week.

Breakfast meat/sweet potatoes are prepped.  Meals planned. Sweets baked. I am hoping for an improvement and shooting for 90% compliance with my journaling and an appointment over skype or phone with my nutritionist this week to work on my macros and the plan for the next month.  Wish me luck, please … and also … feel free to leave me comments here about what you struggle with and how you handle it!!! *muah*

Mason Jar Salads

Screenshot 2018-05-09 16.21.59.png

Because I’m really struggling with food. With time. With school. With parenting. And I saw this on Facebook and Pinterest, I decided to try it.  I’m trying SO HARD to make sure that I eat. I’m starving but I’m not hungry. Being sad is weird. And being fat is depressing. You don’t want to eat but you have to. If I set these up, my hope is that I won’t eat bad foods.

// Updated: They do hold up for longer than I thought. A little harder to eat from than I thought, but you can add salad dressing and shake them. And there are a zillion recipes on Pinterest about variations.

If I can do it, you can too :-)

Happy Friday my friends

Make a commitment to YOU. Even if you are married. Even if you are a mom (or a dad). YOU being healthy starts a trend in which everyone around will mirror, emulate, imitate, and be healthy (and happy) with you ….

“If you have good thoughts they will shine out of your face like sunbeams and you will always look lovely.” 
― Roald Dahl

My sister bought me 21-day fix in January…. the girls and I ditched the crappy food in the house and have been eating much cleaner. I have been exercising as close to daily as possible and decompressing without wine (despite the CRAAAAZEEEE schedule) in January … results = happier, healthier and stronger. From jeans size 20/22 to 14 … muscles are popping out of my legs, shoulders, back, arms and I am recovering from life’s bumps more swiftly and without as many tears. I have a lot more work to do … I need to focus on better combos of food and get my body to start to shed pounds, but the first step was all of *this* …

You know what else is SUPER cool about this? My teenage daughter showed me her tummy this morning. She’s not bloated and has lost inches as well. And, she’s acting more independently, having fun with her girlfriends and looking forward to summer.

And better … BOTH of my daughters have less acne, more energy and are smiling ALL THE TIME!

Life is good … and everyone is craving strawberries instead of cake. You can do this too … take the first step … even if it’s a really tall one … have strength through the detox stage (fake it until you make it) and give us a holler on this side 🙂

I’m Persistant

Screenshot 2018-05-09 16.26.48.png

Still so far to go to fix the damage of eating my emotions of dealing with loss of Demi … but I am not giving up. Not letting my current loss of Brant do any more damage … Using the sadness and emotion to be introspective. To discover myself. To melt these pounds, to be a good mommy, to kick ass in school. 💓💓💓